29th July is Rain Day … Hence today, let’s take some wonderful spiritual inspirations from rain! Continue reading “Spiritual Inspirations from Rain”
Tomorrow is Guru Purnima … Hence today, let’s experience God as the Supreme Satguru (including a wonderful short meditation commentary at the end)!
Continue reading “Experiencing God as Supreme Satguru – Happy Guru Purnima Wishes”
Jealousy is an emotion which creeps in very subtly… Hence, let’s protect from it, by remembering the following thoughts:
- I’m actually getting jealous of success, not the other person… Hence, success will never come to me!
- Everyone’s specialities are different, hence I might have some specialities they don’t have
- What good they’ve got is an accurate return of their past karma, they fully deserve it!
- Let me focus instead on the specialities I’ve got, & make they grow!
- Jealousy is a fire which burns us from within, leads to many killer diseases, & prevents us using our gifts & talents
Hence, even if a thought of jealousy comes, let’s instantly finish it by emerging the virtue of contentment… And since contentment’s the king of all virtues, it automatically leads to all other virtues, hence we remain full of true peace, love & joy!
Best of luck!
Previous Post: Accepting People’s Behaviour
One of the major causes of sorrow today is people’s words & behaviour. Hence let’s overcome this, by creating thoughts like:
- They must have had a bad day, it’s not their fault
- They’re in more pain
- What they said was outside, but what goes on inside me (ie my thoughts & feelings) is entirely my creation & choice
- I can protect myself from their influence, they can’t!
- Let me share peace & love with them, through my stability & peace
- They’re not saying to me, just reflecting their inner disturbed state of mind
- I don’t want the situation to escalate… Hence, I withdraw since a clap requires both hands (ie a conflict requires both!)
Hence let’s shift from influence & blame, to stability & support… Thus creating a life of peace, love & harmony!
Previous Post: Forgive and Forget
Forgiveness becomes natural, when we remember:
- By forgiving, we’re freeing ourselves from a lot of pain. Hence, we’re actually forgiving ourselves, not them!
- Forgiveness is a virtue of the great, an ornament of the brave
- It was my past karmic account which is now over, but if I remain in pain I’m recreating a similar-quality karmic account again!
- Related Post: Letting go of the Past
Forgetting becomes natural, when:
- We forgive with a true heart
- We make proper plans to protect from being cheated again
- We practice meditation, which shifts our frequency much higher above waste memories
- We involve ourselves in activities of spiritually serving others
Hence let’s forgive and forget, to free ourselves from pain, & experience true peace. Indeed, let’s move on to experience the golden opportunities that life is constantly offering to us!
Best of Luck!
Next Post: Accepting People’s Behaviour
Previous Post: Facing Difficult Situations | How to deal with Situations
Although many of us are facing big situations today, there’re some thoughts which make it much easier to face situations… Like:
- Situations are outside, they can’t get inside me
- I’m more powerful than the situation
- It’s an examination paper, which has come to advance my grade
- Situations come to make us strong, experienced & to show us our true inner potential
- If I cross this situation with stability, I’ll be able to inspire & help several others to cross with stability too
- This situation is small, many others are facing much bigger challenges
- Even if mountain-like situations come, I the spiritual bird will fly over them with grace!
- Situations are lifeless… Only by thinking over them extra, they increase in size
- Situations are just the creation of a weak mind… Hence, let’s empower ourselves, to finish half the situations there itself!
Hence in essence, let’s make ourselves bigger & the situation smaller, thus enabling us to infact use situations for enhancing our progress, hence transforming the negative situation into an illustrious future!
Next Post: Forgive and Forget
Previous Post: Letting go of the Past
Sometimes, memories of the past pull our happiness down. Hence, it’s important to protect ourselves from influence of the past.
This becomes very easy, by creating thoughts like:
- The past has passed, it won’t come again, it’s finished
- It was my past karmic account which is now over, hence clearing the way to my illustrious future!
- I’m a powerful soul, I have the power to chose whether to allow the past to influence me or not
- Past is called Bhoot Kaal in Hindi, hence remembering the past is like remembering ghosts!
- I’ve learnt from the past, now it’s time to move on
- The past is not in my control
- Thinking of the past spoils my present, preventing from taking advantage of golden opportunities presently available
Also, having good experiences in meditation is another powerful technique of merging unpleasant memories of the past..
Hence as is said, the past is history but the present is a gift. Thus, let’s put a full stop to the past, & create good thoughts & feelings in the present, to enjoy a most illustrious present & future!
Best of luck!
Previous Posts: Overcoming Hurry
Tomorrow 20th July is International Chess Day. Hence today, let’s take some wonderful spiritual inspirations from chess! Continue reading “Spiritual Inspirations from Chess”
The Art of Anger Management (How to control Anger)
A version of this article ‘The Art of Anger Management (How to control Anger)’ was published in ‘The World Renewal’ magazine (Dec 16 issue)
Everyone of us know the negative effects of anger, in terms of it’s impact on the:
- Mind, in terms of destroying internal peace, happiness & harmony;
- Body, causing various toxic effects and diseases;
- Relationships, where anger can lead to long lasting effects;
- Work, affecting concentration hence work efficiency.
However still, conquering anger (ie anger management) seems a big challenge.
Hence, let us attempt to understand how anger works, and how to conquer it (ie anger management!)
A) Process of Anger
The seed of anger is Irritation. If you check subtly, an outburst of anger always starts with Irritation (or multiple times irritation)
And the main reason of Irritation is trying to control something which is not in our control. Situations and people are largely beyond our control.
And why do we try to control situations and people? Because sometimes, they tend to have a negative influence on us.
B) Protection from Influence
Hence, the key to conquering anger (ie anger management) is to protect oneself from negative influence.
The main ways to remain safe from outside influence are:
1. Direction of thoughts / Introversion (Soul conscious stage)
Whatever we think about more, we become exposed to it’s influence. Hence, the more our thoughts are tuned with the inside world, the more protected we are from influence of the outside world.
Hence if we think more about:
then we are more prone to outside influence. This is the Extroversion stage.
The more we think about:
- Qualities of the soul
- The soul’s home
- The soul’s Father, the Supreme Soul
- The role or part of the soul in the world drama
then we are more protected from outside influence. This is the introversion stage, or soul conscious stage.
Hence, the more we think of the person creating negative energy, the more we become influenced, and hence we too start getting angry. Conversely, the more we are introverted & close to the self, the less influenced we are & hence stable in our original state, thus not creating the same negative energy.
Introversion can also refer to the practice of keeping attention on our thoughts.
- If you notice, as soon as we look at our thoughts, they begin to slow down. Hence, this gives us a greater degree of choice to proactively choose a response rather than give an automatic reaction. This helps us to control anger.
- When we have attention on our thoughts, as soon as the thoughts start going in a wrong direction, we can become aware of it & hence change them. This prevents the negative thoughts from continuing further & resulting in an outburst of anger.
Those who are spiritually weak become easily influenced. Hence, becoming more powerful is another technique to remain safe from influence. This is possible by a good connection with God, the Ocean of Power, the One with all powers.
Also, the more we remain in the powerful influence of God, who is the source of all attainments, automatically the influence of everything else reduces.
3. Soul conscious vision (dristhi) / attitude (vritti)
The more soul conscious our vision / attitude is, then however strong the negative energy sent by the other person may be, we are able to remain protected.
It just means constantly seeing the other person as a soul and creating associated thoughts like.
- He/She is a Pure Peaceful soul
- He/She is the child of God, hence my brother soul
- He/She has this speciality
This not only acts as a powerful shield of protection for the self, but also sends powerful positive energy to the other soul, which helps him/her to remain stable & gives him/her the power to transform.
4. Looking at others’ specialities
These days, all souls have both specialities and weaknesses. Hence, God asks us to wear the spectacles of specialities ie to look at others’ specialities rather than their weaknesses. The more we have the specialties of others in our awareness, the less influenced we are by any negative energy created by that soul.
Hence, it’s a very good practice to note down, for each soul at home or work whom we come into regular contact with, 2-3 specialities of that soul. Then, try to keep that speciality in your awareness when interacting with him. This acts as a powerful tool of protection for the self.
5. Understanding & Mercy
It’s important to understand that the person getting angry is in greater pain than the one on whom he’s getting angry. The other person can protect himself, but the one getting angry cannot escape the ill-effects of the anger being created inside him. This awareness generates mercy for the soul, which provides a natural protection for the self.
It’s also important to understand that the person getting angry is not getting angry on us, but is actually just reflecting his inner disturbed state of mind. Hence, not to take the outburst personally on oneself, but to understand the position of the person. This again creates mercy.
C) Other Techniques
While protection from influence is the key technique to conquer anger (ie anger management), there are also some more techniques which we can use to overcome other subtle aspects of anger.
1. Overcoming Control
Before giving an advice, recommendation or suggestion to anyone, just check “What if the other person doesn’t do what I say? Will I get disturbed?” If no, go ahead. Else talk with and convince yourself that the other person is also right from his perspective, and only then proceed to give the advice. In this way, one can overcome control.
2. Overcoming Guilt
While anger is generally directed at other people, guilt is a form of anger directed at oneself. Guilt generally occurs due to a mistake done by the self.
To overcome guilt, it is important to understand that the more we remain in guilt, the more soul power is drained. And it’s this power we require to transform, to ensure that the mistake made is not repeated. Hence, when in guilt, just ask yourself “Do I wish to repeat the same mistake again?” If no, I can’t afford to remain in guilt!
3. Smaller Aspects of Anger
To ensure that the old sanskar of anger doesn’t pop up again, it’s very important to be aware of the smaller aspects of anger, which are as follows:
- Showing big eyes to others is a subtle way of trying to control other people.
- Giving too much orders to others (Bossiness) is also something to protect oneself against.
- Talking in a different way with someone or not talking at all is a subtle way of punishing others; this is also an aspect of anger.
- Talking with a loud tone of voice is also a sign of anger.
Note that protecting oneself from the above three aspects corresponds to God’s elevated direction to “Speak Less, Speak Sweetly and Speak Softly” respectively!
4. Check your beliefs regarding anger
The fact remains that one of the major reasons why we create anger (or it’s smaller aspects as described above) is because we still subtly believe that “Anger is needed to get work done” or ”Anger is needed to change other people”. Hence, we need to check and change this wrong belief system once and for all.
This could be done by realising that negative energy can never be used to produce a positive solution. While in the immediate short term, it may seem that people behave, and work gets done the way we want. But this effect very quickly fades away. In fact, people not only tend to lose respect on the one who frequently gets angry, but they also start ignoring or find ways to protect themselves from the influence of this anger. Hence, anger ultimately leads to no benefit and only creates a lot of damage to the soul getting angry.
In fact, when there is love & respect, where we give priority to people over work, people will want to work for you rather than have to work for you, ultimately leading to much greater work efficiency. Because when the inner state of mind is stable & happy, the external work done automatically becomes better!
Hope you benefitted from this article ‘The Art of Anger Management (How to control Anger)’!
You might also like to read my very short post on Overcoming Hurry!